Monday, July 7, 2008

Ode To Sippy Cup


I have never really been a jealous person by nature.

I mean, of course I have had my moments (who hasn't), but generally speaking I have never really wanted what someone else has. I have always been happy with my life and what I have.

Until now.

I see babies using sippy cups and I am jealous.
I am. I'm big enough to admit that.
I am jealous of the moms who made it happen.
Why can't I make it happen?
What am I doing wrong?
Oh, sippy...why won't Frankie love you?

It's my only "thing" with Frankie. Everything else--no problem--it will happen when it happens but I'm all about the sippy cup thing happening now. For some reason, it is both my obsession and nemesis: The Sippy Cup.

Yeah, yeah, yeah...Frankie will do it when she's ready (like everything else). I know, I know.
Doesn't help.
Why isn't she doing it NOW? She's 14 months old. Now isn't good?
It's good for me. Not good for her??

Yes, I've tried all the different brands out there.
Yes, I've tried other things besides water.
Yes, I put cranberry juice in the vodka to dilute it a bit.

I have done it all!

She hates the sippy.
I feel bad for the sippy.
This is what it contends with being around Frankie:

Oh, Sippy Cup
Oh, Sippy Cup
Be gone from my life
You're a royal pain in the butt

Mommy shoves you in my face
I push you away
She just doesn't get it...
I will never cave

I picked you up once
It was a tease
I just wanted to show
That I can do it with ease

I only like milk
And bottles are the only way
Keep comin' at me, sippy--
I will make you pay

I will throw you to the ground
You won't spill, but it will hurt
Sometimes you will hit tile
Somtimes you will hit dirt

I will never give up the bottle
You can fly me to the moon
Don't think I won't take it there
And on my freakin' honeymoon

Oh, yeah--bottles rule
Sippy cups suck
You can keep trying
I don't really give a &%#$

(Nice mouth, Frankie).

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

Thanks for the laugh! This post was really, really funny. Love the prison suit too.

FinsUp said...

I hate it when someone dilutes my vodka. Just a thought.

FinsUp said...

How about skipping sippy cups and going for straw cups?

http://www.ehow.com/how_2104272_teach-baby-use-straw.html

OK. I should really be working instead of worrying about your sippy cup issues, FJ!

Anonymous said...

Hilarious, just hilarious! Thanks for all the funny posts!

Stef (A lurker from Holland :-))

Anonymous said...

Robyn -

I think Frankie Jade and you should write a book together - incorporating your blog - the expanded version of what Codie did for you. It'll keep Frankie Jade in the finest for a long time!

Brian

Kath said...

can't wait til the potty training!

I still have to go to China for my little one...so all will be new

Anonymous said...

Hey F.J.

Why are you driving mommy crazy? I think she has a love/hate thing for those HARD PLASTIC CUPS instead of the yummy bottles! What's up girlfriend!!!

One day, hard plastic "Cards" will be your friend...it's a learning thing F.J. and it all starts with the SIPPY CUP!!! Embrace it - enjoy it....give mommy some slack! lolol

I think mommy needs a break - lol -although, her hidden desire of being a writer is coming thru like a champ! lol - Rob, you are a hysterical writer...F.J. will love this one day. (and yes, i can't sleep - why i'm up at 4am!)
Jer

Anonymous said...

I'm sure you have, but, did you try putting her milk in the sippy cup?

Or maybe vice versa, put the cran vodka in the bottle, so she's used to the taste in a familiar vessel?

Shawnstribe said...

do you know what....sippys are over rated, i'm still on my bottle and who cares!!!!
cant wait to meet you FJ, we'll have a great time driving our parents nuts!!!!!
by the way...my mom like yours likes her bottle too!!!
Milk of course ; )
LOVE
X X
ps my mom said....the best decision ever was to write this blog...and she is SOOOO HAPPY your Mama did!!!!

Anonymous said...

many Asian children use the bottle till they are two or three. it doesn't ruin their teeth or anything.

with my own children, this is what i did:
1) start putting handles on the bottles so my toddler gets used to holding the bottles with handles (like with a sippy cup).
2) put nipples on the sippy cups and let my child drink milk this way.
3) slowly switch from nipple to the normal sippy cup mouth/cover.
4) using the straw also helped baby transition quickly from a bottle.

i've found that nothing makes me lose my temper like food battles so i stopped fighting them early on. it's really impossible to force a child that young to conform to our wishes. so i surrender to baby and just try to be a cool mama, lol.

good luck! love your blog!!