Coden Club Med--Detroit

I have been staying at the Coden Club Med in Detroit for about a month now so I thought I'd send a postcard to ya'll. I must say, it is very awesome here and the accomodations are first rate. I get fed everytime I turn around (and not just crappy baby food--they give me good stuff too). I get bathed, massaged and lotioned...toys are everywhere, closet is full and I'm totally into the dog. I love Floyd, he is my fave. I am livin' like a rock star in this joint and Mommy and Daddy are essentially my slaves. They come when I cry, wipe my butt when I poop and shove a bottle my way about 5 times a day. Rock ON.

I'd also like to say that I'm done crying about everything. It was beginning to bore everyone so I decided to just let go and enjoy the ride.

I'm done being upset about the car seat, now I jam in the car with Mommy. I think her voice stinks but I let her sing. When I'm able to talk I will tell her to "zip it." Until then, I am learning many new English words from Eminem so keep bringing the tunes, Mamacita!

I'm done being upset about the stroller, but I have noticed that Mommy gives me these gerber treats that she calls "baby crack" when we take Floyd for a walk. I wonder if she does that to shut me up. There was this one time we were walking I cried the whole way home and everyone in the neighborhood heard me. I'm much happier (and quieter) with my treats, but I'd probably be OK without them. I'm not going to argue with her though--they're good and she's buying.

I'm done being upset about the high chair. IT RECLINES. It would be nice if they understood that "bababa..ba...ba!" means get me the remote, unbutton my jeans and put on "American Idol," but again...when I learn to talk...

I'm done being upset in the shopping cart. Yes, I had a few freak outs, I admit it. One time (oh this was great)...One time I had such a freak out that some random lady asked Mommy if she "needed help." YES! All because of me! It was hilarious. I almost stopped crying to laugh, but don't worry, I didn't. I kept crying. Now Mommy uses this pink thing for me to sit on and it's really comfy. I don't cry anymore--and if I start, she shoves one of the "baby crack" treats my way. It's a win-win. You know me: First Class Frankie all the way, baby!

I'm done being upset about pretty much everything. It's hard not to be happy here. I even wake up happy. They're trying to get me into a routine but I fight them on naps. Do you blame me? Turkey, Cheese and Cheerio All-You-Can-Eat-Buffet on the Lido Deck-- Laughing Learning Toys on the Fiesta Deck. Too much going on here--no time for naps!

Sometimes I sleep all through the night but not usually. I was having some really bad night tremors for a few nights, but the "google freaks" I live with got some info online and they seem to have cured me of those, at least for now. Now I just wake up when I want to party or when I have a diaper full of pee. Wouldn't you? "Hello??? Housekeeping? Please come and change my diaper!"...and one of them always comes. Didn't I tell you? First rate.

I went from not crawling or sitting up to doing both in one day. Save it, I already know that I'm brilliant.

Something else I learned...I'm Jewish. Yeah, they threw that one at me right before Passover. I'm ok with it though. There are no presents on Passover, but the food is really good. On the night of the second Passover Seder, I got to sit at the head of the table and the food kept coming and coming. At one point I was stuffing my face and crapping my pants all at the same time! Jealous? We Jews sure know how to party...

I also had my 1st birthday not too long ago. Mommy and Daddy took me for Chinese food. They think they're SO funny....

They had a very small birthday party for me at the house (I am still a bit overwhelmed by large crowds) and I think I did pretty well. I am much more comfortable with smaller groups but my Mommy says that is OK because she is like that too. Not only do we look EXACTLY alike but it seems we are alike in other ways too!

I got my first taste of cake at my birthday party. They gave me a humongous cupcake. Mommy and Daddy were a little skeptical of how I would react because I always push away pears, applesauce, bananas...anything sweet, but let me tell you, after my Mommy took off my shirt and let me go for it-- I DESTROYED THAT CUPCAKE. Again, I am my mother's daughter--good match China people who matched us! Poor cupcake didn't even see it coming. I tortured it. I ruined it. I made an example of that cupcake and all other cupcakes better beware. I needed another bath when my parents finally tore me away. Don't worry, before Daddy whisked me off to the bath, I told the remains of the cupcake to heed my warning...I WILL BE BACK.

All in all, I have to say I'm rockin' in D-town. We're leaving for Daddy's camp on Thursday. Mommy's freaking that I need new clothes for that place. WHATEVER--that lady loves to shop, Daddy I and just roll our eyes at her. She's already shopping for a new kid, talking about getting some kid from some place called Sierra Leone so he doesn't become a child soldier, or I think I even heard her mention she wants a girl from India so the kid doesn't get sold to a brothel. What's the deal? Freakin' Joliewannabe in da house! My Daddy and I both think she's nuts but he just says "Ok, honey" and I say: "Iye Yay Yay!!!"

Hope you're all doing as well as I am!

FJC Out!