Pointers from The Princess

Do you guys want to sing "The Itsy Bitsy Spider?" I do.

"Down came the rain..."

Sorry, Grampa. I gotta go. I love this song...
and yes, I do need a spoon in each hand to make me dance better.

"Down."
Some Pointers from The Princess:

When I say "Uhpahh!" It means, "Pick me up," and not "I work in Greek Town serving flaming cheese."


On the other hand, "Let's get your coat on" really means "Oh, fun--Mommy is going to play chase with me, and she's going to do all the chasing!"


There is no such thing as too much "Itsy Bitsy Spider." Singing it 50 times a day is not unheard of, and much appreciated by me, The Princess.

"The Itsy Bitsy Spider" serves not only as fun entertainment, but also as a temporary stalling technique and/or reprieve from a potential meltdown or meltdown-in-progress. I actually don't have too many meltdowns because A) It's not in my nature, B) Mommy has no patience for them and C) I'm awesome...but sometimes I sneak one in just to be a toddler. It's my job. I'm sure I'll have more as I get older but until then, keep working the "Itsy Bitsy Spider" angle.

If I'm mad that you took something I don't need away from me, and I decide to pull your hair, you're not teaching me anything by pulling mine in return. I don't care if you're not pulling hard. I am the toddler. I do the pulling.

You know how in Synagogue no one is allowed to leave the room when the Torah is out? Well, that's how it is when the "Hot Dog, Hot Dog, Hot Diggity Dog" song is on. No one moves except to dance until the song is over. No exceptions.

Sometimes I still like to poop in the tub. It's not a pointer. Just a fact.

I'm 18 months old and it's still not a good move to put a barrette or clip in my hair. I will take it out when you're not paying attention and I will put it in my mouth.
You'll have a "Mommy feeling" that I took it out, quickly glance at my head and, as expected, you will find it missing. You will then have a total freak-out. (Note: The "Itsy Bitsy Spider" song does not work with Mommy freak-outs.) Your heart will beat very fast because you're scared that I swallowed it (I didn't). You'll then lodge a finger in my mouth, grab the clip and sigh with relief because it is now safely in your hand and not in my throat. I will then smile one of my huge Frankie smiles (completely unaffected by the recent exchange) and say "Hi--eee." I had no intention of swallowing the clip-- I'm not an idiot--but you might want to take a moment and ask yourself if the clip in my hair is really worth it.


Throwing bath toys out of the tub is great. I know I'm getting water everywhere. I know the bath toys belong in the tub. I know it annoys the hell out of you. I don't care because it's great. You can beg, you can plead and and you can order me can order me to STOP until you are blue in the face. I don't care because it's great. I love to throw bath toys. It's great.

Please don't mistake my amazing napping and sleeping habits as doing you any favors. I'm just tired. I am completely aware of what a great sleeper I am. I will, in the future, be keeping you and Daddy up all night when my boyfriend (the one with the tattoos and piercings) comes to pick me up and I break curfew because Mommy pissed me off two weeks before by grounding me for taking her car without asking.

Off white is not the color I would have chosen for a new coat, Mommy, but you bought it anyway. I'd like to wish you lots of good luck with that. Daddy and I have an over-under on how long you go before I trash it.

Tootle-ooh.
FJC